I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
