My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
