He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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