i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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