CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
