Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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