someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
