You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
do herpes really smell.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
