are you so shy because you have an std?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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