you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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