how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Come on in and take your pants off
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