And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
