people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
