Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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