Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm like, not good at living.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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