i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
