I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
