so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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