no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
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