I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
