Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
