so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
