his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i now understand why vodka
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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