Will you blow on my dice?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I got her a Nickelback box set.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
