I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
