Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
