just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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