I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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