it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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