Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
