Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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