i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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