like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
