i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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