It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
