David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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