We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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