TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
