Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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