She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You were trust falling into bushes
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
