I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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