Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
