sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
