If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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