i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
