I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
