Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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