Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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