i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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