Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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